Courtesy of DCLsMUSIC -on YouTube-
A mercifully short interview
with Take That overgrownboyband members
Gary Barlow, Robbie Williams & Mark Owen
about the X Men: First Class movie,
an invitation from director Matthew Vaughn
and the song Love Love.
The freeze frame shot seen above
strongly implies that Robbie is bored
out of the little wits that he has,
Mark is slumbering quietly,
dreaming of a solo project,
and Gary, full front and center,
is full of himself.


Never mind the fact that fourth and fifth wheels Jay and Howie are conspicuously absent; the fact that Matthew Vaughn never really confirmed this story; and the fact that mutants (and their fans) all over the globe deny ever having been Take That fans (or TicTacToe fans for that matter - but that would be digressing.)

Let's get to the point - and the reason why these three are here to get lambasted! (And oh yeah - they're gonna get it gooooood! Bloody good!)

It is certainly within the realm of possibilities that Matt Vaughn requested the honor (!) of having a song written expressly for this latest of his genre flicks (seeing that it is, again, a super-hero genre flick - it needs all the help it can get. Even from boybands, quite possibly.) and that he invited the most readily-available musicians that he could get a hold of (probably on short notice) to a private screening of said flick, in order to stir up some creative juices, get some creativity (of any kind) going and hopefully produce something fast enough so that he could include it in the end credits of his film. For that was all he wanted, really: music to fill up the time left on his celluloid once all the action was through. And since he knew that this latest Marvel waste of celluloid was going to break from the short-lived as quite pubescent tradition of having an extra scene after the credits, he knew that the song had to be two things, two quite basic things: have a catchy beat and generate some buzz, if only from subsequent radio play, MTV airtime, etc...

Suffice to say that, with the five overgrown teens from Take That, Vaughn was damn sure to get all that!

None of that, so far, is worthy of my lambasting time though - neither my lambasting time nor yours, in truth...!

If you've listened to the interview already, though, you know exactly what deserves several forms of punishment: such as, say, hey - let's start with a boycott of all that Take That shit - hmm? Hence the title here: Take THAT, Take That!

Next, how about some verbal abuse for the Robbie there - you know he's got it coming and has had it coming for years and years, really - this latest offense here is just the final drop, in truth...

Because the insensitive oaf has simply gone too far now - in his vain attempt at being witty, funny, maybe even cutesy, Robbie Williams has only succeeded in revealing how truly obtuse, pathetic and obnoxious he truly is.

Is anything admissible, does anything go, for the sake of having a laugh, for mere levity? The answer is NO. But you wouldn't expect a Robbie to know so much... I swear a hell of a lot more bloody Robbies should have been hurt - and hurt BAD - during the filming of "Rock VJ"...! And leader-man Gary is no better, of course; the smug full-of-himself blowhard that he is, he truly fails in any sort of worthy leadership in actually being Robbie's accomplice in this tasteless commentary that should have never been.

For if these morons had nothing to say about the superhero genre, mutants, moviemaking, the sad state of Hollywood, Vaughn's directorial tangent, the actual film that they saw, the song that it inspired, their own careers' sad tangent, the music industry today, the weather, the year so far - anything else - then they should have just kept silent and done nothing but answer the questions dryly - like true Britons would do.

Alas, these Brits are something of a misbegotten mixed breed that respects nothing, knows next-to-nothing and hasn't got a clue when to shut their bloody yap!

The result was thus that they mocked not only a fellow Briton (far greater than any of them combined - do not doubt it for a second) but, most importantly of all, they ridiculed a true story, a very real tragic destiny that should never, never, never be mentioned in the same breath as those shitty muties, make-believe marvels and other four-color crap of the kind. Or in the same breath as Take That.

The Elephant Man was a man - Joseph Merrick (not John, as he is often incorrectly named, nor the "elephant man" but Joseph) one who handled the cruel cards fate dealt him with true gentleman qualities - something never to be expected from a Robbie or a Gary. All Robbie and Gary make me think of (and Marky too) is the type of Briton from the epoch that frequented certain types of clubs of ill-repute -maybe even Hellfire Club level- they are that kind of Brit, not the Joseph Merrick kind of Brit and gentleman at all.

It was truly the most absurd thing to bring any kind of reference to this long-suffering soul to try and ridicule his memory by linking him to the make-believe mutations that shall never come close to the real-life ones. Take That members think they are such perfect specimens, perhaps, do they? Pray to God that you never have anyone near and dear suffer from a debilitating condition or anything worse - you will see, then, something far more troubling than the "incomprehensible" that was Joseph Merrick's sad condition to you, Robbie...

And his two bandmates laughed at that.

Take That is made up of total utter MORONS.

Incredibly, though, Take That rakes in the millions and recently came in an extremely respectable third on the list of top money-makers in the music industry; they appear to be smart when it comes to touring and overpricing tickets for their live shows... And yet Take That is an act that gets spoken of surprisingly not so much at all - but they sure make it big when it comes to generating audiences and revenue! It certainly is not due to their being goody two-shoes types though: their inflated egos shine through more than anything, during interviews, and they lack empathy to an unbearable degree.

Still, one doesn't know what is more annoying, ultimately: their inane fans who leave unintelligible comments such as these:
haha robbie was exited for elaphan man lol yeah i tottaly agree about howie and jay its really unfair
MrGarybarlowfan 2 months ago

Or the other type of fan that they have - the one that tries to legitimize their foot-in-the-mouth moments and comes up with an explanation for it:
Elephant Man probably a reference to Take That Last tour The Circus without Robbie which a giant Elephant.... <3 Take That
billy4042 3 months ago

And then there is the third type of fan - of an undefined gender - that leaves not much of a comment at all behind in hopes of... something:
Mr Gary Barlow = talented, gorgeous man :D xxx
choc12ful 4 months ago

Take That will always collect from these idiots - it is as simple as that.

For the rest of us out here, we can remain unaffected by their musical efforts (keep trying, boys) and we can easily boycott this piece of crap band that thinks it is so above the rest that they'll always get private screenings and exclusive first class VIP treatment, complete with the first crack at contributing to a soundtrack...

Not when sales dip, boys - not when sales take that irreversible plunge, no...!

And then you may run away and join the circus, finally -
either that or stay in England and have nightmares about pachyderms stomping all over Robbies?
It would be well-deserved!

Or... or... You may be all-too run-of-the-mill, Take That boys, and have only nightmares of this kind: the unforgivable, inevitable and inexorable decay to come when you start slowing down in every single way - as you sing it yourselves, "we don't have too much time here - and time it flies by far too fast" - something like that, boys?

Just don't end up like this!

My luminous prerogative: Robbie thinks it fair to link real-life tragedies to make-believe muties? I shall make a luminous connection between the careers of Take That and that obscure band from quality make-believe myth, this time, as chronicled in the old Hammer Mystery & Suspense short-lived series, on the air back when these boybandjerks were only spermatozoids, in the episode titled Black Carrion...! At least that comparison makes a hell of a lot more sense!

They sound alike, too!
Take THAT final blow, Take That!

Labels: Call to Boycott, music