the lambasting blog

Lambaste the pests of this world! Run through the mud the scum of the earth! Humiliate the would-be somebodies who mock their fellow human beings for daring to be braver than they are! Three good causes championed by THIS VERY BLOG! Enjoy - especially if you're one of the pests EXPOSED HERE! Believe me - you DON'T want to tick me off and wind up exposed here!


Monday, March 21, 2011

 

Mario Is A Readied Mule Alright!

Anyone remember that time when some half-crazed, half-baked (half-intoxicated most probably too) sportscaster on the lame-o HNIC CBC Saturday night broadcast called Mario Lemieux as such, because he thought that was the most appropriate image to conjure up the alleged *magnificence on ice* of the guy? Well, yeah - it sounded very ridiculously strange back then and it still does now - with the difference that, NOW, it helps to describe just how much of a donkey the dude can be indeed!

I mean, HERE ARE THE DAMNABLE FACTS:

Mario, when he was a player, did not mind AT ALL having a dirty player or twelve on his team, players that would insidiously ensnare and attack other good players - good players that were AS GOOD AS IF NOT BETTER THAN MARIO - in order to allow Mario to look so *magnificent* on the ice - when, in reality, truth and fact, he was nothing but a sissy on skates. One who could handle a puck, surely - but never to be thought of as a *COMPLETE PLAYER* - NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS... He was only good at making plays and, to do so, he needed space on the ice; the same lively space that his very own coach denied other elite players from the competition. If Mario was so good, his own coach would have given him a great testimonial of faith in him by allowing the competition to compete with him - and let the ones who score the greatest number of goals win. THAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THE GAME, IS IT NOT? For his coach, his Cup-winning old goat of a coach, to use cheap and dirtier-than-dirty tactics in order to ensure victory PROVES that he knew something about Mario. Mario, for all of his magnificence, never made an impact on his ridiculous team by himself. He had to have a considerable amount of players in the supporting cast before he could amount to ANYTHING. Other great players, TRULY GREAT PLAYERS, carry their entire team on their shoulders. Mario never did that - he was too selfish a bastard and too gutless to be able to. Thus, he was a far cry from being the *magnificent* one!

In 1991, Mario's slimebucket of a teammate, Ulf Samuelsson, purposefully injured the great, truly complete player, awesome Boston Bruins forward, Cam Neely. Why? After all, if Mario was so *magnificent* he would have been able to compete fairly against the Great Cam *The Man* Neely - RIGHT? Wrong! Cam Neely was beating the Pittsburgh Penguins all by himself - and Mario was powerless to undo it, let alone match it. And the Pens' coach, the loathsome Badger Bob, KNEW THAT - so he ordered his man Ulf to take out Neely, in the most insidious way there is too: with a knee-on-knee check that barely looked illegal. So much so that, when it happened, it even went unpunished by the referees! No one seem to have even seen what happened nor understood it, even though it had all transpired in broad view, on open ice, before a huge crowd and before the cameras that had been capturing a pretty good series up until then, one that the Boston Bruins were winning up until that moment of infamy. The Bruins' coach, Mike Milbury, had no doubts about what had happened there: he was livid and wanted to get to Badger Bob's throat for being such a dirty tactician ready to do almost anything to win. And Badger Bob was right, in a way: it was going to be his only chance to win, ever - he would die of cancer soon enough. Still - it did not excuse nor legitimize his most despicable decision there - effectively denying a great player, a truly complete player, his true destiny.

Mario got the nod and the laurels, instead. The bastard.

But the fact was that HE WAS NOT EVEN A FACTOR IN THE BRUINS-PENGUINS SERIES THAT YEAR!
You would listen to the battle accounts and ZERO MENTION was made of him! How funny was that, eh - omitting the magnificent one... Funny but true. And totally legitimate! For he was effectively neutralized by the Bruins' Dave Poulin; while no one could stop Cam Neely without stepping lower than a barnyard mule, evidently...
And here is the evidence:



Listen to the main party in the entire case now:



Flash-forward a decade:

Cam Neely is a respected team president of his beloved Boston Bruins. He attempted a comeback, circa 1999, but it was not possible. He retired as a player but remains part of the game while retaining all of his integrity as well as passion for it. His team is one built around HIS IMAGE: tough, talented, playing with determination and ready to battle hard for the victory.

Mario is, now, retired too. AT LAST. And he is now the OWNER of the lousy Pens franchise that should have never won anything at all - EVER. Unlike Neely, Mario is widely regarded as a hypocrite, a liar and a two-faced son-of-a-bitch.

He claims to love hockey, CLEAN hockey - and yet, his team is, once again, chock-full of dirty players and goons of all ilks - one of them, Matt Cooke, is the renowned bonafide master of dirty hits all across the league. Yet, Mario complains about violence perpetrated by other teams and other players - but never his goon Cooke who purposefully tries to injure other players, star players at that. Mario should have met somebody like that when he was playing!

When Cooke blindsided Boston Bruins superstar Marc Savard, even Sidney Crosby was appalled by the actions of his teammate. But not Mario - no, he didn't flinch. And neither did the damn league: there was no suspension for that heinous act.



Poor Sidney Crosby and poor Eugeny Malkin - with a hypocrite like Mario as their boss, they can indeed expect no protection at all. And it was exactly as Don predicted too: the following year, it was Crosby's turn to get injured. And then it was Malkin's.

Mario, instead of crusading for the protection of good players, carried on blasting the league every six months, like clockwork, biting the hand that fed him and made him a millionnaire, as Don Cherry reminds us: but Mario focuses on brawls on ice, not any other follies. Perhaps his reluctance to have an official stance on the dangers to good players comes from the fact that he would rather see them all knocked out of the game; so that all of his precious records stay safely his? It's a theory... As an owner, it cannot be missed that he has failed in using his higher-than-the-average-team-owner profile to force the league to act against players like his very own Cooke there.

Conclusion: Mario is indeed a creepy hypocrite. Watch the following video starting at 4:30 for more insight into that, from Don:



That makes TWO star players from the Boston Bruins organization that the trashy Penguins have compromised the careers of.

There will NOT be a third.

Mario Lemieux - you are a bastard and a two-faced moron. You never deserved any of the success that you have had. What is that talent to handle pucks that you had when it does not come with integrity, with the mInd and heart of a man who knows what is right from is wrong? You were a coward on the ice and your man, Matt, is another coward too. A malicious one - that needs to be eliminated. And your declarations about not wanting to be part of a league that has so much violence in it...? It is the league that fed you all those millions that should kick you out, ask for the money back and move that damn team out of the Pitt and into oblivion, for all I care...!

UPDATE:
After roughly a dozen dirty hits, the NHL's sorry excuse for a commissioner finally suspended Matt Cooke for perpetrating, for the umpteenth time, more of the same... Mario offered no comments, at that time. The Boston Bruins voiced their opinion that Cooke was unwilling to learn and amend himself and that he showed no respect whatsoever for his opponents. Matt Cooke came back - and did it again. He got suspended, again. By that time, Don Cherry's prediction of an "open season" on good players had already come true, with Sid The Kid Crosby being out with a concussion of his own. And HIS career seems compromised as well. Mario, again, had nothing to say...

In late April 2011, as the Boston Bruins came back from an 0-2 series deficit to finally win their first round playoffs series (in seven games) against arch-rival Montreal, accomplishing that for the first time in team history - the Pittsburgh Penguins blew a 3-1 series lead over the Tampa Bay Lightning, finally losing game seven by the score of 1-0. It was the first time in their team's history they had ever lost a series in which they had gained a 3-1 edge. They sure were lacking scoring punch there - what, Mario, somebody takes out your best players and, suddenly, you cannot score anymore? Aww...

He who kills by the sword dies by the sword.

May Matt Cooke burn in hell with Badger Bob who is waiting for him there.

And may Sid The Kid, from this point on, be like Cam The Man - no more, no less.

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Comments:
Following is the update on Cooke's punishment that triggered everyone's momentary sigh of relief - that a predator (not from Nashville) was finally being dealt with...
 
NHL Makes Statement With Matt Cooke Suspension, But League and Penguins Must Do More to Control Him
by Douglas Flynn on Mon, Mar 21, 2011 at 9:35PM Comments 2
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Matt Cooke Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

That's the traditional idiom.

Then there's the NHL version, which goes more like, fool me 11 or 12 times and Colin Campbell might actually be shamed into doing something about it.

On Monday, the league finally tried to do something to end Matt Cooke's unchecked rash of dirty checks, suspending the Pittsburgh cheap-shot artist for the final 10 games of the regular season and first round of the playoffs for his elbow to Rangers defenseman Ryan McDonagh on Sunday.

It probably doesn't go far enough -- forcing him to miss the entire postseason would have been better -- and it comes about a dozen concussions and knee injuries too late, but at least the NHL finally made a ruling with some force behind it.

For the next month or so, NHL rinks will be a little safer. Whether it remains that way after Cooke is allowed to return remains to be seen. He's shown no ability to learn from his past punishments, a fact the Bruins were eager to point out Monday morning even before the league announced its decision.

"You have to trust your players that they've learned and that they don't let it happen again," Bruins coach Claude Julien said, "although there's certain guys in the league that don't seem to be learning."

That was an obvious reference to Cooke. Bruins forward Brad Marchand was more direct. "It just seems like he doesn't want to learn and he doesn't have respect for his opponents," Marchand said.

Cooke hasn't had a lot of motivation to learn from his past misdeeds. Despite all his many questionable hits targeting opponents' heads, knees and various other vulnerable body parts, Cooke had been suspended just four times before in his career for a total of just 10 games.

He got a two-game slap on the wrist for spearing Matt Johnson back in 2004, then two games for a head shot on Scott Walker in January 2009. A similar head shot on Artem Anisimov in November 2009 drew just two games again despite being a repeat offense. Cooke was then given his longest ban to date this February with a four-game suspension for checking Fedor Tyutin from behind.

And that is just the misdeeds the NHL saw fit to actually punish. He's never been suspended for any of the countless knee-on-knee checks he's delivered and the brutal blindside hit he put on Marc Savard last March went undisciplined, though it did help lead to this year's new rule banning lateral and blindside head shots.

Instead of paying for his past transgressions, Cooke was earning bigger paydays. Just a few months after putting Savard's career in jeopardy, the Penguins rewarded Cooke with a new three-year, $5.4-million deal this summer that raised his yearly salary from $1.2 million to $1.8 million.

The only positive to come from that is it makes this suspension sting a little more, as he'll forfeit $219,512 in salary for the 10 games he'll miss.
 
And for the first time, the Penguins sound like they are no longer willing to enable Cooke. Pittsburgh general manager Ray Shero released a statement Monday supporting the suspension as "warranted" and noting in a statement "that's exactly the kind of hit we're trying to get out of the game.

"Head shots have no place in hockey," Shero's statement continued. "We've told Matt in no uncertain terms that this kind of action on the ice is unacceptable and cannot happen. Head shots must be dealt with severely, and the Pittsburgh Penguins support the NHL in sending this very strong message."

That's a far cry from Shero's support of Cooke earlier this month in a Sports Illustrated profile, when Shero praised the controversial winger even while acknowledging that Cooke is dirty.

"Is he a dirty player? Yeah, he's a dirty player," Shero said. "Ulf Samuelsson was a dirty player. But there's value in that."

Apparently, there's only value when it's a Penguin that's delivering the dirty hits. When Pittsburgh is on the receiving end, owner Mario Lemieux threatens to quit the league. Lemieux was roundly, and rightfully, criticized for his hypocritical stance of condemning the Islanders for a fight-filled game against Pittsburgh while continuing to cut checks for the dirtiest player in the game.

And while the Penguins as an organization finally appear to recognize Cooke's actions on the ice are unacceptable, Lemieux was once again silent on Monday. After inserting himself into the debate over player safety with his statement after the Islanders game and letter to Gary Bettman proposing a system of fining teams when players are suspended, Lemieux needed to make a personal statement denouncing Cooke's latest vicious assault and supporting the league's sanctions.

Better yet, he could make a real statement and waive or release Cooke. Lemieux's willingness to continue to employ Cooke will forever taint his efforts to make the game safer, if indeed that was ever his sincere objective.

Cooke has finally received some semblance of a just punishment. The NHL saw to that, as belated as it may have been with the transgressions already on Cooke's resume. But now it's up to the Penguins to ensure that Cooke doesn't strike again. We certainly know that Cooke isn't willing, or able, to control himself on his own.

Should the league, and the Penguins, have done more to punish Matt Cooke? Share your thoughts below.
 
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About the Author

Douglas Flynn is NESN.com’s Bruins reporter. Prior to joining NESN in 2010, he covered the team for over a decade for the MetroWest Daily News, Boston Herald and New England Hockey Journal. An award-winning sportswriter, Flynn also covered the Patriots for two seasons, including the near-perfect campaign in 2007. A graduate of Brown University, Flynn is a Massachusetts native. He was born in Boston, raised in Randolph and now calls Holliston home. Follow Douglas on Twitter. Have a question for Douglas? Send it to his mailbag.
Comments (2)
Nunan said...

No, this is a good punishment. If they suspended him for the rest of the year, this article would suggest banning him for life. This is good for now, especially since it includes a playoff series. that is huge. If he continues endangering everyone around him, which I am sure he will, up the suspension again. The league is doing what they said they would. Next time, give him 30 games, and so on and so forth.
Reply March 21, 2011 at 09:39 PM
smh said...

I'm surprised lemieux didn't say sh*t really, after all the blubbering he's been doing about player safety. Disapointing.
Reply March 21, 2011 at 10:40 PM
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