the lambasting blog
Lambaste the pests of this world! Run through the mud the scum of the earth! Humiliate the would-be somebodies who mock their fellow human beings for daring to be braver than they are! Three good causes championed by THIS VERY BLOG! Enjoy - especially if you're one of the pests EXPOSED HERE! Believe me - you DON'T want to tick me off and wind up exposed here!Thursday, November 19, 2020
Schmucknatural
So... Let me get this straight!!!
After turning a schmuck neurotic writer
into "God" (but it's really a... Chuck)
and making him the bad guy on top of that
(hey - once they started having angels on the show,
most of them were dicks - right?
And those weren't necessarily
the fallen ones either... ugh!)
they wrap up his (His?) story
on the penultimate episode of the series
(SEASON 15 - episode 19)
only to have something titled
"CARRY ON"
for the actual finale...
An homage to British comedy?
It felt so, at first:
with Dean (the older bro)
identifying their latest targets as
"Mimes? Vampires?
VAMPMIMES!"
and then one of them turns out to be
a returning character from the past:
Jenny - but she gets her head axed off
immediately!
But then Dean buys the farm too
(AGAIN - oh, did I forget to type
SPOILERS ALERT here?)
get this?
GOD wasn't powerful enough
but VAMPMIMES get the job done!
Episode 19 ended, actually,
with the two bros saying to themselves
(like, who else would they talk to?)
"now we are FREE. No one
writing our story. No Chuck.
We get to write it ourselves!"
Well... NO!
Some doofus named Andrew wrote
"Carry On" here...
And he followed up on big boss Kripke
and several other so-called scribes
and their horrendous imagination!
And the "Carry On" of the title
is actually swiped off the classic song
of course:
KANSAS is not the only song
desecrated for the occasion
- they also do it to some Dire Straits
and Van Morrison!
The latter's ode to ordinary life
highlights the fact that,
without some "Chuck"
writing their tale,
they couldn't last more than
ONE SINGLE EPISODE!
Is this pathetic or what -
was this unintentional,
accidental or an admission,
really and in truth...?!?
AFTER ALL...
This is the series that nearly
got the axe (like Jenny did)
after only ONE SEASON...
REMEMBER...
Season one ended with a car crash
and the two bros and their dad
looked dead - DEAD...
Some possessed truck driver
had driven his big hog
right into their precious "Baby"
and, meanwhile, network execs
were simply NOT possessed
with enthusiasm over the idea
of greenlighting this thing for renewal...
It could have ended right there.
But no - it did get renewed
-somehow-
and saved over and over again
over the course of time
and wound up lasting
fifteen long seasons as we know.
BEFORE "CARRY ON"
THE CW AIRED...
THE LONG ROAD HOME
A recap of the whole series,
basically - and the only true
return of several characters
beloved by their fans
(Mary Winchester,
the boys' dad...
Cassiel and that awful Crowley;
any show that gets people to love
a character named after Aleister
is AWFUL alright!
The only thing worse would be
an Adolf... maybe!)
and even there... EVEN THEN...
these hardcore fans were let down!
ME - I always felt let down by
Eric "Creep" Kripke -
he who claimed to have been
a lifelong fan of urban legends,
of television classics such as
the A-Team, Knight Rider, Kolchak...
He gets a chance to make a show
and explore all those interests
-including Biblical lore-
and is, for the first three seasons,
sensible and smart enough
to have a "no angels policy"
- but then he loses all good sense
and does such outrageous
things with the lore...
This last episode should have been
one thing and one thing only:
the two brothers did die
in that season one car crash.
Dad died with them.
And the 14 other seasons
were delerium as they
saw it flash before their eyes
as they were dying...
in excruciating pain.
Possessed - probably.
In the car wreck.
That would have topped
everything else seen on TV:
Bobby Ewing's return,
the infamous "dreamed season"
of Dallas' widow...
Newhart's implied
entire series imagined
in a nightmare Bob had
sleeping next to his
wife from the previous show,
Suzanne Pleshette...
All the crappy twists seen on
GOT...
EVERYTHING!
And that's the most pathetic thing of all yet...!!!
Labels: Appalling, beheading, Death, Fake, goof, History, horrible, jerk, Only GOD Is GOD, SUCKS, TV, YT
Wednesday, May 06, 2020
FREE PREVIEW THIS!
How sweet to see this, all of a sudden,
out of the blue now: multiple
FREE PREVIEWS
on a handful of selected channels
-meticulously selected, I am sure-
as these are the specialty channels
that *they* know that *you* want...!
T+E
comes to the fore, first ~
with their promise that
they are the only place
where you can find
THE ORIGINAL CHARMED...
... as if anybody out there truly wants /
truly needs to get their DAILY FIX of
pre #METOO Rose McGowan,
along with a reminder of those dark times when
the likes of Holly Marie Combs and Alyssa Milano
were actually important TV PRODUCERS...
(No, we won't even mention the rest of the cast ~
especially not the Beverly Hills 90210 refugee;
poor her, she is ill.)
... as if the new CW latina version of the
very improbable (totally impossible) trio of
"good witches" with powers that are just
out of this world was not bad enough
permeating the airwaves when worthier,
far more imaginative (in a GOOD way)
TV shows never saw the light of day... !!!
That is followed by a double whammy
representing the last few decades
of sensational vapid television:
Buffy The Vampire Slayer
(the brain-child of eventual Marvel hack
Joss Whedon; whom we despise more than
that silly Sheldon ever despised Wil Wheaton ~
ever, ever in his life ~ allegedly! Whatever...)
and the Vertigo/DC Comics inspired
iZombie
representing the last few decades
of sensational vapid television:
Buffy The Vampire Slayer
(the brain-child of eventual Marvel hack
Joss Whedon; whom we despise more than
that silly Sheldon ever despised Wil Wheaton ~
ever, ever in his life ~ allegedly! Whatever...)
and the Vertigo/DC Comics inspired
iZombie
You gotta admit it:
after witches do their thing -
it is logical vampires and zombies
would be crawling about!
after witches do their thing -
it is logical vampires and zombies
would be crawling about!
WITCHES, VAMPIRES and ZOMBIES
~ plus a never-ending supply of "real"
ghost stories/paranormal encounters!
Oops ~ got carried away there!
Thou shalt not confuse T+E with A&E ~ ever!
(Although, these days... Okay, let us not get into that!)
Blame it on YT...
And the CW too, maybe...
After just a couple of days
of said programming, I tell you ~
you will find yourselves
regurgitating ectoplasma or something -
guaranteed!!!
NEXT... C+I
a.k.a.
CRIME+INVESTIGATION
and their latest clever attempt
to lure in subscribers, once
that wretched free preview is all
said, prosecuted, filed and done,
is to add the most unlikely
"not-so-old" / still relatively recent
"criminal investigation with a twist"
kind of show to their little line-up:
...after headlining things up for seasons on end
on a variety of other networks (including syfy and showcase)
this was bound to happen: it winds up
where it has no business at all.
She might have been "live" on SHOWCASE (doubt it)
but even now, in reruns, she remains LIVE EVIL alright...
in disguise! (The old "wolf in a wolf's clothing" joke pops up
with frightening regularity on the show: or so I am told!)
So, whereas T+E has the old
tried and proven "WVZ" combo
(again: witches, vampires & zombies)
a specialty channel like C+I goes with
succubi, fae and, again, witches
(oh - and werewolves! Don't forget
the wolfies now; cheap, basement
bargain type of wolves, really ~
it is not like the producers of Lost Girl
could afford Thriller-like transformations
for every other episode now...!!!
Still: they count as one of them
is a vital part of the show ~
the crime investigative part of it, too!
A major reason why C+I went for this:
"SFWW" thus; dangerously close to
SJW... wow! But I digress...)
A major reason why C+I went for this:
"SFWW" thus; dangerously close to
SJW... wow! But I digress...)
A new audience can discover this drivel now:
the entertaining if -again- altogether improbable
and impossible (even with copious amounts of true blue
suspension of disbelief OR even if you actually believe
in the existence of succubi... fae... werewolves, etc!)
"saga" of a succubus that actually fights for good
- even though she is LOST. (The titular Lost Girl - duh!)
On top of making one of those the most unlikely
"stupor-hero" of all-time, they create a ridiculous
divide between the Fae: as if there was a need for
Light and Darkness sub-categories there...!
These are not even worth anything as both act
about the same way in the world: unaccountable
for most everything they do, too...
When true evil pops up (be it the Baba Iaga or
whatever else they cannot concoct a way of
using profusely as alluring, bodacious false force
for good!) it is cannon fodder for a one-off
episode - because you gotta have casualties,
of some KIND - eventually!
And the forensics... well, they are minimal
but they are there - in another bodacious form
for the succubus to tap into, too!
There were a number of alternatives for C+I out there,
ripe for the taking: PROFILER comes to mind
with Ally Walker starring as a forensic psychologist type
of crime investigator endowed with psychic abilities...
THIS would have been ideal for C+I to add to
their programming or stick with, through and
throughout the coming decade - but, given that this is
already more than 20 years old, it is deemed unfit
- maybe archaic, too? And it actually ended its
original run on NBC in the year 2000...!
Psychics are OUT, anyways ~
the one exotic, supernatural thing that has
a tiny bit of a toe solidly planted in reality
and it doesn't stand a chance anymore
up against superhero succubi, bloodsucking vigilante
and the other odd ilk that good old Kolchak
(the Night Stalker - hello?!? Not Kojak!)
used to warn us about...!!!
His estate will not be getting any residual income.
Ally Walker neither; her show is GONE.
Just like that Arquette chick who used to be psychic too;
she lost her show a long time ago... never to return!
And the Ghost Whisperer has had to recycle herself
as a mere dispatcher for 9-1-1...
Since 2012 -at least- a new breed of bizarre,
most unlikely types are presented as "heroes"
on various platforms, via various providers
which have, in turn, multiplied themselves too...
THE AWFUL PART OF THIS IS...
IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE!
FAR, FAR WORSE!!!
Instead of the Lost Girl succubus,
Crime+Investigation could have gone for
another show of the same ilk... Lucifer
They could have also gone for
another NBC offering of old ~
CONSTANTINE
thankfully, it was so very short-lived
that acquiring it didn't make sense;
and, besides, the character was
"salvaged" by the CW
who added him to their
"Legends of Tomorrow"
(if those are the kind of legends we're getting,
the future looks bleak alright!)
another NBC offering of old ~
CONSTANTINE
thankfully, it was so very short-lived
that acquiring it didn't make sense;
and, besides, the character was
"salvaged" by the CW
who added him to their
"Legends of Tomorrow"
(if those are the kind of legends we're getting,
the future looks bleak alright!)
And do not get me started again
on the sad, sad case of SUPERNATURAL...
In so many ways, they started all this, on TV ~
before them, there wasn't such a mass
confused free-for-all mixture of
pagan lore with religious material
and other supernatural folk indeed
~ all in the same chaotic storyline!
You had angels -real ones-
on family-friendly shows such as
Highway To Heaven
and
Touched By An Angel
while the evil creatures of darkness
knew their roles and stuck to it
on classic, well-done shows such as
KOLCHAK THE NIGHT STALKER,
SHADOW CHASERS,
DARK SHADOWS,
THE X-FILES
and
G vs E
"Good vs Evil" - whatever it was called...!
Again: it is twenty years-old!!!
NO, NO, NO ~
if you really want some crime investigation
with a tinge of the supernatural in it on your
screen - whatever size it may be -
I suggested this crap instead:
if you really want some crime investigation
with a tinge of the supernatural in it on your
screen - whatever size it may be -
I suggested this crap instead:
and if that's not good enough for you...
TOO BAD.
Damn you, YouTube!!!
Sunday, March 15, 2015
4 BASTARDS
MORGAN...
WARBURG...
ROCKEFELLER...
EDISON - of course...
Appalling, indeed - what greed will make
some men without scruples do...
Labels: Appalling, History, Injustice, simulpost, YT
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Okay Kids: Let's Make A New Four-Letter Word With The Letters E...I...T...Y...
One of the worst combinations ever to be found on the wild, wild web undoubtedly is that of YouTube and... Internet Explorer. It was proven time and again, I assure thee; just try to add ten or more videos to any of your playlists on the former and then click on the editing function for said playlist and watch the latter works its magic on your nerves - with the former's complicity and unilateral blessing! You'll get something like this, in no time at all:
!
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