the lambasting blog
Lambaste the pests of this world! Run through the mud the scum of the earth! Humiliate the would-be somebodies who mock their fellow human beings for daring to be braver than they are! Three good causes championed by THIS VERY BLOG! Enjoy - especially if you're one of the pests EXPOSED HERE! Believe me - you DON'T want to tick me off and wind up exposed here!Thursday, November 19, 2020
Schmucknatural
So... Let me get this straight!!!
After turning a schmuck neurotic writer
into "God" (but it's really a... Chuck)
and making him the bad guy on top of that
(hey - once they started having angels on the show,
most of them were dicks - right?
And those weren't necessarily
the fallen ones either... ugh!)
they wrap up his (His?) story
on the penultimate episode of the series
(SEASON 15 - episode 19)
only to have something titled
"CARRY ON"
for the actual finale...
An homage to British comedy?
It felt so, at first:
with Dean (the older bro)
identifying their latest targets as
"Mimes? Vampires?
VAMPMIMES!"
and then one of them turns out to be
a returning character from the past:
Jenny - but she gets her head axed off
immediately!
But then Dean buys the farm too
(AGAIN - oh, did I forget to type
SPOILERS ALERT here?)
get this?
GOD wasn't powerful enough
but VAMPMIMES get the job done!
Episode 19 ended, actually,
with the two bros saying to themselves
(like, who else would they talk to?)
"now we are FREE. No one
writing our story. No Chuck.
We get to write it ourselves!"
Well... NO!
Some doofus named Andrew wrote
"Carry On" here...
And he followed up on big boss Kripke
and several other so-called scribes
and their horrendous imagination!
And the "Carry On" of the title
is actually swiped off the classic song
of course:
KANSAS is not the only song
desecrated for the occasion
- they also do it to some Dire Straits
and Van Morrison!
The latter's ode to ordinary life
highlights the fact that,
without some "Chuck"
writing their tale,
they couldn't last more than
ONE SINGLE EPISODE!
Is this pathetic or what -
was this unintentional,
accidental or an admission,
really and in truth...?!?
AFTER ALL...
This is the series that nearly
got the axe (like Jenny did)
after only ONE SEASON...
REMEMBER...
Season one ended with a car crash
and the two bros and their dad
looked dead - DEAD...
Some possessed truck driver
had driven his big hog
right into their precious "Baby"
and, meanwhile, network execs
were simply NOT possessed
with enthusiasm over the idea
of greenlighting this thing for renewal...
It could have ended right there.
But no - it did get renewed
-somehow-
and saved over and over again
over the course of time
and wound up lasting
fifteen long seasons as we know.
BEFORE "CARRY ON"
THE CW AIRED...
THE LONG ROAD HOME
A recap of the whole series,
basically - and the only true
return of several characters
beloved by their fans
(Mary Winchester,
the boys' dad...
Cassiel and that awful Crowley;
any show that gets people to love
a character named after Aleister
is AWFUL alright!
The only thing worse would be
an Adolf... maybe!)
and even there... EVEN THEN...
these hardcore fans were let down!
ME - I always felt let down by
Eric "Creep" Kripke -
he who claimed to have been
a lifelong fan of urban legends,
of television classics such as
the A-Team, Knight Rider, Kolchak...
He gets a chance to make a show
and explore all those interests
-including Biblical lore-
and is, for the first three seasons,
sensible and smart enough
to have a "no angels policy"
- but then he loses all good sense
and does such outrageous
things with the lore...
This last episode should have been
one thing and one thing only:
the two brothers did die
in that season one car crash.
Dad died with them.
And the 14 other seasons
were delerium as they
saw it flash before their eyes
as they were dying...
in excruciating pain.
Possessed - probably.
In the car wreck.
That would have topped
everything else seen on TV:
Bobby Ewing's return,
the infamous "dreamed season"
of Dallas' widow...
Newhart's implied
entire series imagined
in a nightmare Bob had
sleeping next to his
wife from the previous show,
Suzanne Pleshette...
All the crappy twists seen on
GOT...
EVERYTHING!
And that's the most pathetic thing of all yet...!!!
Labels: Appalling, beheading, Death, Fake, goof, History, horrible, jerk, Only GOD Is GOD, SUCKS, TV, YT
Wednesday, May 06, 2020
FREE PREVIEW THIS!
How sweet to see this, all of a sudden,
out of the blue now: multiple
FREE PREVIEWS
on a handful of selected channels
-meticulously selected, I am sure-
as these are the specialty channels
that *they* know that *you* want...!
T+E
comes to the fore, first ~
with their promise that
they are the only place
where you can find
THE ORIGINAL CHARMED...
... as if anybody out there truly wants /
truly needs to get their DAILY FIX of
pre #METOO Rose McGowan,
along with a reminder of those dark times when
the likes of Holly Marie Combs and Alyssa Milano
were actually important TV PRODUCERS...
(No, we won't even mention the rest of the cast ~
especially not the Beverly Hills 90210 refugee;
poor her, she is ill.)
... as if the new CW latina version of the
very improbable (totally impossible) trio of
"good witches" with powers that are just
out of this world was not bad enough
permeating the airwaves when worthier,
far more imaginative (in a GOOD way)
TV shows never saw the light of day... !!!
That is followed by a double whammy
representing the last few decades
of sensational vapid television:
Buffy The Vampire Slayer
(the brain-child of eventual Marvel hack
Joss Whedon; whom we despise more than
that silly Sheldon ever despised Wil Wheaton ~
ever, ever in his life ~ allegedly! Whatever...)
and the Vertigo/DC Comics inspired
iZombie
representing the last few decades
of sensational vapid television:
Buffy The Vampire Slayer
(the brain-child of eventual Marvel hack
Joss Whedon; whom we despise more than
that silly Sheldon ever despised Wil Wheaton ~
ever, ever in his life ~ allegedly! Whatever...)
and the Vertigo/DC Comics inspired
iZombie
You gotta admit it:
after witches do their thing -
it is logical vampires and zombies
would be crawling about!
after witches do their thing -
it is logical vampires and zombies
would be crawling about!
WITCHES, VAMPIRES and ZOMBIES
~ plus a never-ending supply of "real"
ghost stories/paranormal encounters!
Oops ~ got carried away there!
Thou shalt not confuse T+E with A&E ~ ever!
(Although, these days... Okay, let us not get into that!)
Blame it on YT...
And the CW too, maybe...
After just a couple of days
of said programming, I tell you ~
you will find yourselves
regurgitating ectoplasma or something -
guaranteed!!!
NEXT... C+I
a.k.a.
CRIME+INVESTIGATION
and their latest clever attempt
to lure in subscribers, once
that wretched free preview is all
said, prosecuted, filed and done,
is to add the most unlikely
"not-so-old" / still relatively recent
"criminal investigation with a twist"
kind of show to their little line-up:
...after headlining things up for seasons on end
on a variety of other networks (including syfy and showcase)
this was bound to happen: it winds up
where it has no business at all.
She might have been "live" on SHOWCASE (doubt it)
but even now, in reruns, she remains LIVE EVIL alright...
in disguise! (The old "wolf in a wolf's clothing" joke pops up
with frightening regularity on the show: or so I am told!)
So, whereas T+E has the old
tried and proven "WVZ" combo
(again: witches, vampires & zombies)
a specialty channel like C+I goes with
succubi, fae and, again, witches
(oh - and werewolves! Don't forget
the wolfies now; cheap, basement
bargain type of wolves, really ~
it is not like the producers of Lost Girl
could afford Thriller-like transformations
for every other episode now...!!!
Still: they count as one of them
is a vital part of the show ~
the crime investigative part of it, too!
A major reason why C+I went for this:
"SFWW" thus; dangerously close to
SJW... wow! But I digress...)
A major reason why C+I went for this:
"SFWW" thus; dangerously close to
SJW... wow! But I digress...)
A new audience can discover this drivel now:
the entertaining if -again- altogether improbable
and impossible (even with copious amounts of true blue
suspension of disbelief OR even if you actually believe
in the existence of succubi... fae... werewolves, etc!)
"saga" of a succubus that actually fights for good
- even though she is LOST. (The titular Lost Girl - duh!)
On top of making one of those the most unlikely
"stupor-hero" of all-time, they create a ridiculous
divide between the Fae: as if there was a need for
Light and Darkness sub-categories there...!
These are not even worth anything as both act
about the same way in the world: unaccountable
for most everything they do, too...
When true evil pops up (be it the Baba Iaga or
whatever else they cannot concoct a way of
using profusely as alluring, bodacious false force
for good!) it is cannon fodder for a one-off
episode - because you gotta have casualties,
of some KIND - eventually!
And the forensics... well, they are minimal
but they are there - in another bodacious form
for the succubus to tap into, too!
There were a number of alternatives for C+I out there,
ripe for the taking: PROFILER comes to mind
with Ally Walker starring as a forensic psychologist type
of crime investigator endowed with psychic abilities...
THIS would have been ideal for C+I to add to
their programming or stick with, through and
throughout the coming decade - but, given that this is
already more than 20 years old, it is deemed unfit
- maybe archaic, too? And it actually ended its
original run on NBC in the year 2000...!
Psychics are OUT, anyways ~
the one exotic, supernatural thing that has
a tiny bit of a toe solidly planted in reality
and it doesn't stand a chance anymore
up against superhero succubi, bloodsucking vigilante
and the other odd ilk that good old Kolchak
(the Night Stalker - hello?!? Not Kojak!)
used to warn us about...!!!
His estate will not be getting any residual income.
Ally Walker neither; her show is GONE.
Just like that Arquette chick who used to be psychic too;
she lost her show a long time ago... never to return!
And the Ghost Whisperer has had to recycle herself
as a mere dispatcher for 9-1-1...
Since 2012 -at least- a new breed of bizarre,
most unlikely types are presented as "heroes"
on various platforms, via various providers
which have, in turn, multiplied themselves too...
THE AWFUL PART OF THIS IS...
IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE!
FAR, FAR WORSE!!!
Instead of the Lost Girl succubus,
Crime+Investigation could have gone for
another show of the same ilk... Lucifer
They could have also gone for
another NBC offering of old ~
CONSTANTINE
thankfully, it was so very short-lived
that acquiring it didn't make sense;
and, besides, the character was
"salvaged" by the CW
who added him to their
"Legends of Tomorrow"
(if those are the kind of legends we're getting,
the future looks bleak alright!)
another NBC offering of old ~
CONSTANTINE
thankfully, it was so very short-lived
that acquiring it didn't make sense;
and, besides, the character was
"salvaged" by the CW
who added him to their
"Legends of Tomorrow"
(if those are the kind of legends we're getting,
the future looks bleak alright!)
And do not get me started again
on the sad, sad case of SUPERNATURAL...
In so many ways, they started all this, on TV ~
before them, there wasn't such a mass
confused free-for-all mixture of
pagan lore with religious material
and other supernatural folk indeed
~ all in the same chaotic storyline!
You had angels -real ones-
on family-friendly shows such as
Highway To Heaven
and
Touched By An Angel
while the evil creatures of darkness
knew their roles and stuck to it
on classic, well-done shows such as
KOLCHAK THE NIGHT STALKER,
SHADOW CHASERS,
DARK SHADOWS,
THE X-FILES
and
G vs E
"Good vs Evil" - whatever it was called...!
Again: it is twenty years-old!!!
NO, NO, NO ~
if you really want some crime investigation
with a tinge of the supernatural in it on your
screen - whatever size it may be -
I suggested this crap instead:
if you really want some crime investigation
with a tinge of the supernatural in it on your
screen - whatever size it may be -
I suggested this crap instead:
and if that's not good enough for you...
TOO BAD.
Damn you, YouTube!!!
Monday, November 27, 2017
TLMEP DE M****
Et je blogue... en français!
pour une fois... porra!
L'insupportable me pousse à le faire; et l'insupportable a un nom: GUY.
(À moins que ce ne soit ce connard de Fou du Roi...)
Et tout cela se passe ICI... alors je me dois de le décrier dans la langue tabassée, mal-menée... ben, ben, bbbbben maganée de Molière!
Tout d'abord, trois p'tits twits qui font de l'argent sur Instagram...
ILS SONT PAS PLUS PIRES'' QUE CES DEUX TWITS
''DRETTE LÀ'' J'PENSE:
''DRETTE LÀ'' J'PENSE:
Ah... Ouais?
Et ça - c'est quoi alors, ÇA:
BUT THAT IS ANOTHER STORY...
Ensuite le ministre des Transports (l'Astronaute Libéral devenu Politicien Zinzin) qui arrive un bon trois mois trop tard (ou six - ou douze!) avec ses nouvelles règles à la con permettant le port d'une ''petite lame de moins de six centimètres'' - AH OUI, VRAIMENT? Comme mon Swiss Knife alors, qui était une partie intégrale et innoffensive de mon trousseau de clés depuis 2006 - et qui était un souvenir tangible de feu mon père, parti pour un monde meilleur et certes plus cohérent cette année-là justement; un homme intègre, honnête et bon - plus que l'on ne peut en dire de trois quarts des politiciens! Incluant toiais, l'astronaute de mes gongs...!!!
On fait asseoir la poteuse Melanie à côté du ministre Libéral ensuite; elle se lamente de sa surconsommation de marijuana mais Marc, lui, renchérit que cela sera légal en Juin 2018! Libéraux IDIOTS... On peut bien se dire ''libéral'' sans avoir à l'être au pied de la lettre - dans absolument tous les aspects de notre existence... BANDE DE CONS!!!!
Le dernier clou dans le cercueil de la télé - une autre apparition du vampire des phénomènes étranges... Christian -qui perd son Robert- Page! Avec les années, il apparait de plus en plus comme un vieil arnaqueur qui veut vendre sa salade (cette fois sous forme d'un livre, en bonne et due forme) car il se spécialise de plus belle en tant que ''journaliste qui démonte les fausses théories de complots et les évènements mal interprétés -et ayant donné naissance à de fausses légendes, selon lui- de l'histoire." Foutaises! Il ne connait même pas les véritables légendes, ne sait point différencier ni départager ce qui est vrai du faux, et les pires complots ourdis de par le monde - il n'a pas la moindre idée de ce qu'ils sont vraiment! Son pseudo-journalisme le poussant à ne faire constat que des sujets les plus ''populaires'' recensés par des médias de balivernes, il donne dans le sensationalisme de plus en plus; les soi-disants complots dont on retape l'essentiel des milliers de fois pendant l'année un peu partout sur le net... dans les blogues, par exemple!
Seuls invités ''qui ont de l'allure'' - Shania Twain... qui parle Français!
(Mais, encore là, on rappelle qu'elle a divorcé pour ensuite épouser l'ex-mari de la maîtresse de son ex-mari, qui était sa grande ''amie'' depuis belle lurette...! Alors ''allure'' est relatif, ICI... ou ICITTE... dans le sens que les Culbéquois donnent au mot ''allure'' - bien sûr!!!)
Et puis il y a l'aquaficionado Marc Roy - qu'on assit entre deux bimbos!
Puis à la gauche du Fou! Parbleu!
La cerise sur ce sundae de SITH?
Ti-Guy décide de faire une blague, à la toute fin: au lieu de simplement faire sa ''job'' et d'annoncer la fin de l'émission d'marde, remercier les invités, mentionner que les nouvelles suivent et convier les téléspectateurs qu'il lui reste à demeurer à l'écoute pour le bulletin de nouvelles qui suivra (avec Pascale Nadeau; encore et toujours meilleure que la Sophie Thibault - MA'AAMME THIBEAULT - de TVA...! Mais ça c'est une autre histoire...) non; IL NE FAIT PAS ÇA...
Ti-Guy se doit d'essayer d'être drôle...
Ti-Guy se doit d'essayer d'être drôle...
La dernière fois que Ti-Guy A. Lepage fût drôle il faisait de la radio communautaire étudiante de l'UQAM, havre d'études soi-disantes universitaires de mauviase répute - certes pas de la télevision, donc - et était un membre quasi-insignifiant de la collective connue en tant que ''RBO'' depuis...
La ''joke'' - les nouvelles la citeront, ou ce sera sur TOU.TV ou YouTube encore - parce que moi, je ne la répèterais pas ici. Pas sur mon blogue! NON! Les nouvelles, ti-gars; oû on vous parlera de complots aussi, sûrement...
Hélas, il ne pouvait prévoir que son émission allait être suivie de la nouvelle de dernière heure annonçant le décès de son ami depuis les jours de la radio communautaire étudiante - le chanteur des ''B.B.'' Patrick Bourgeois. mort prématurément du cancer à l'âge de 55 ans.
KARMA... anyone?!?
Labels: ARRRRGGGHHHHH, nitwit, TV
Friday, February 26, 2010
Lambaste The Prudes!
Aye, tis time to lambaste the prudes now! Now, truly, thou cannot say that lambasting is not an equal opportunity, perfectly leveled playing field... hmm? But I am digressing again...
ITV and the Brits overall have to be lambasted for being such prudes indeed: I mean, it is 2010 and they are all bothered by a mere glimpse of a bosom on daytime television (on that Midsomer Murders thing, of all things...!)
I mean... come on!!!
One almost has the sudden desire to unearth the 1970s classic "No Sex Please, We Are British" as a mere reminder...
And I thought ITV to be more avant-garde than the venerable, high-browed, near august (in their own mind) BBC...!
Here is some of the evidence that such is NOT the case:
ITV shows nude scenes at 4pm
Thu Feb 25 03:06PM by TV Editor
ITV chiefs have insisted that they didn't make a mistake after a programme featuring female nudity was shown in an afternoon slot.
An episode of Midsomer Murders, which featured a model posing completely naked for an artist, was screened by the broadcaster at 4pm, reports The Sun.
However, the channel claims that the programme was checked ahead of broadcast and says the scenes were edited to be suitable for viewing before the watershed.
A spokesperson told the paper: "The scene in question featured an artist's model and was key to the storyline.
"Careful consideration was given to its inclusion for daytime transmission and it was edited accordingly to ensure that the programme did not contain any inappropriate content. ITV has received no complaints regarding this episode."
Broadcasting guidelines state that any nudity shown before the watershed has to be justified by the context in which it appears.
Last year Channel 4 broadcast a week of programmes called Life Class: Today's Nude, which featured full frontal nudity at 12.30pm.
User comments
so what
Posted by: kstow on Thu Feb 25 04:17PM | Report abuse
* (2)
what is the point of trying to ban toppless pictures on TV when the children can look in any paper/magazine also the type of bust is normaly versize and ugly
Posted by: cookpaul46 on Thu Feb 25 04:19PM | Report abuse
* (3)
When people are on holiday they see more on a beach at 10 in the morning
Posted by: jimonthenet2002 on Thu Feb 25 04:22PM | Report abuse
* (4)
hey everyonell watch it now oh and who cares? "nudity" aint gunna kill any1
Posted by: pboyleray on Thu Feb 25 04:26PM | Report abuse
* (5)
How can The Sun comment on nudity on TV when they have topless women appear in their paper on a daily basis.
Posted by: djh_courc7 on Thu Feb 25 04:26PM | Report abuse
* (6)
How can The Sun comment on nudity on TV when they have topless women appear in their paper on a daily basis.
Posted by: djh_courc7 on Thu Feb 25 04:26PM | Report abuse
* (7)
Nudity is a lot less harmful than a kid seeing seeing violence on TV - yet the latter gets approval again and again. People seriously need to get their priorities straight.
Posted by: pjcroad on Thu Feb 25 04:27PM | Report abuse
* (8)
Mary Whitehouse is dead.Who's complaining?
Posted by: boygibbon99 on Thu Feb 25 04:28PM | Report abuse
* (9)
I don't know what the problem is with a bit of nudity when the public being screwed by politicians and bankers is beiing shown all day every day.
Posted by: mikescastle6 on Thu Feb 25 04:28PM | Report abuse
* (10)
Jesus When will British television viewers stop being such prudes? I remember the neutralia advert and how many complaints that caused. European t.v. has been showing nudity during the day for decades. What the hell difference does it make?It's not as if it's hardcore porn.
Posted by: reptivite on Thu Feb 25 04:29PM | Report abuse
Enough of that already...!
Frankly, if you want want more, you might just as well click on the link and go to the site of origin... for as long as that remains possible, that is...!
All I will add to this is this: if tea time is good enough to investigate grisly murder cases and imagine all the horror, all the monstruosity, all the violence required to commit them - then it is appropriate also to behold a relatively innocent part of the female anatomy, testament to God"s Beautiful Creation...!
Get it, Sheer-luck?
;)
ITV and the Brits overall have to be lambasted for being such prudes indeed: I mean, it is 2010 and they are all bothered by a mere glimpse of a bosom on daytime television (on that Midsomer Murders thing, of all things...!)
I mean... come on!!!
One almost has the sudden desire to unearth the 1970s classic "No Sex Please, We Are British" as a mere reminder...
And I thought ITV to be more avant-garde than the venerable, high-browed, near august (in their own mind) BBC...!
Here is some of the evidence that such is NOT the case:
ITV shows nude scenes at 4pm
Thu Feb 25 03:06PM by TV Editor
ITV chiefs have insisted that they didn't make a mistake after a programme featuring female nudity was shown in an afternoon slot.
An episode of Midsomer Murders, which featured a model posing completely naked for an artist, was screened by the broadcaster at 4pm, reports The Sun.
However, the channel claims that the programme was checked ahead of broadcast and says the scenes were edited to be suitable for viewing before the watershed.
A spokesperson told the paper: "The scene in question featured an artist's model and was key to the storyline.
"Careful consideration was given to its inclusion for daytime transmission and it was edited accordingly to ensure that the programme did not contain any inappropriate content. ITV has received no complaints regarding this episode."
Broadcasting guidelines state that any nudity shown before the watershed has to be justified by the context in which it appears.
Last year Channel 4 broadcast a week of programmes called Life Class: Today's Nude, which featured full frontal nudity at 12.30pm.
User comments
so what
Posted by: kstow on Thu Feb 25 04:17PM | Report abuse
* (2)
what is the point of trying to ban toppless pictures on TV when the children can look in any paper/magazine also the type of bust is normaly versize and ugly
Posted by: cookpaul46 on Thu Feb 25 04:19PM | Report abuse
* (3)
When people are on holiday they see more on a beach at 10 in the morning
Posted by: jimonthenet2002 on Thu Feb 25 04:22PM | Report abuse
* (4)
hey everyonell watch it now oh and who cares? "nudity" aint gunna kill any1
Posted by: pboyleray on Thu Feb 25 04:26PM | Report abuse
* (5)
How can The Sun comment on nudity on TV when they have topless women appear in their paper on a daily basis.
Posted by: djh_courc7 on Thu Feb 25 04:26PM | Report abuse
* (6)
How can The Sun comment on nudity on TV when they have topless women appear in their paper on a daily basis.
Posted by: djh_courc7 on Thu Feb 25 04:26PM | Report abuse
* (7)
Nudity is a lot less harmful than a kid seeing seeing violence on TV - yet the latter gets approval again and again. People seriously need to get their priorities straight.
Posted by: pjcroad on Thu Feb 25 04:27PM | Report abuse
* (8)
Mary Whitehouse is dead.Who's complaining?
Posted by: boygibbon99 on Thu Feb 25 04:28PM | Report abuse
* (9)
I don't know what the problem is with a bit of nudity when the public being screwed by politicians and bankers is beiing shown all day every day.
Posted by: mikescastle6 on Thu Feb 25 04:28PM | Report abuse
* (10)
Jesus When will British television viewers stop being such prudes? I remember the neutralia advert and how many complaints that caused. European t.v. has been showing nudity during the day for decades. What the hell difference does it make?It's not as if it's hardcore porn.
Posted by: reptivite on Thu Feb 25 04:29PM | Report abuse
Enough of that already...!
Frankly, if you want want more, you might just as well click on the link and go to the site of origin... for as long as that remains possible, that is...!
All I will add to this is this: if tea time is good enough to investigate grisly murder cases and imagine all the horror, all the monstruosity, all the violence required to commit them - then it is appropriate also to behold a relatively innocent part of the female anatomy, testament to God"s Beautiful Creation...!
Get it, Sheer-luck?
;)
Labels: TV
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Let's Get Ready To Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrummmmmmbleeeeee...!!!
In-between the times Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck wrestled as a tag-team (in one of the single unfunniest cartoons ever) and Ren & Stimpy did (in one of the funniest ever) -
I thought up a concept gathering various anthropomorphic characters (funny animals, in layman's terms) that would mimic and parody all of the many zany antics of professional wrestling and the "sports entertainment" business and industry overall...! Many (but certainly not all) of the spoofs I devised are to be found here and the gist of the project is here.
You can imagine my displeasure at finding out that, anxious to embark upon Beanie Babies territory, the WWE has launched a plethora of "funny animal versions" of their "sports entertainment superstars" all their own - each one meticulously based upon their very real 'rasslin' ring counterparts, "animals" of sorts that they are to begin with...
Let's have a closer look at those critters - right here and now!
Ric Flair Plush BearThe most “stylin’ and profilin’” addition to the WWE Plush Bear family has arrived with “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair’s rendition of these lovable friends. From the expensive, glitter-covered entrance robe to the slick golden locks, this nearly foot-and-a-half tall collectible is a spitting-image of the 16-time World Champion. Bring the incomparable luster of this legendary sports-entertainer into your home and experience an endless amount of smiles while admiring it’s Flair-like attributes!! 17” tall. Cotton, polyester, and nylon. Imported. (Hmm? Imported? I thought Flair was just as all-American as... ah... that darn Hogan actually! Oh well...)
Hmm - nicely cut promo... I guess? Oh - that one doesn't count as kayfabe or anything...? Ok, sorry! But it should have been lustre not luster - the former has more, ah, flair to it! ;)
And there are other boo-boos there too...
But I digress... Whooooooo!
At $14.98 (25% worth of savings) it is a steal - and I cannot withhold from mentioning the pleasant discovery that the downright yucky "Hulk Hogan Plush Bear" is offered at 33% off (going for less than the Flair Bear hence, at only $13.40! Well-deserved putdown, I say! Shouldn't it have been a Hulk Hogan Hogwild Plush Hog anyway?!? *LOL* ;)
Quite frankly, if the Flair Bear is not available (they'll fly off the shelves, these collectors' items, I tell ya!) I'd get a Big Show Plush Bear (pictured on top of the heap here - even though he has got to be the most boring performer, in his category, of all-time) or a -yikes- John Cena CG Marine Plush Bear - if I were you! Even a hokey Undertaker Plush Bear (yikes!) is preferable to Hogan! ANYTHING BUT HOGAN! (Hmm - now THAT should have been the title of his reality-TV show! *ROTFLMBO" Have a peek at the ''Undertakerbear'' at the bottom of this piece right here; aye, it is NOT easy to tell what it is truly based upon! Looks like Wyatt Earp to me... Could have been one of those D.O.A. chumps or one of the Southern Justice guys - or even Outback Jack?!? *LOL*)
Note also: I advise all of you not to get the Shawn Michaels Plush Bear - way too tacky for my taste and yours! Trust me! And the same goes for the Randy Orton Plush Bear (his dad, Cowboy Bob Orton, made for the worst old WWF action figures too...! It must be an anti-merchandising gene they've got...?)
Kudos though, somehow, to the well done Batista Plush Bear (being the Animal, it helps being believable as a teddy bear I guess?!?) and Carlito Plush Bear too...! Have a Barbie keep him company (Barb will fill in for bimboesque Torrie Wilson...!)
Actually - getting an Eugene Plush Bear (seen below) will be almost something akin to putting out a poor beastling out of its misery - they're down to 40% off and, at $11.98, they're dirt cheap in the world of "WWESHOP" merchandise hawked at you ever so subtly...!
I am just perplexed not to see a "Triple H Plush Bear" included in there...
What - no fluffy stuff for the son-in-law of the empire? Why not? Is he afraid to see the fans beat the stuffing out of his replica the next time he goes overboard (like, I dunno, let's randomly pick an example here; oh yeah, got it - the time when he planted a screwdriver into the forehead of his IDOL, legendary ROLE-MODEL and MENTOR even! New lows for ingrates everywhere to "aspire" to...? I guess that is part of the "WWE attitude" - or is that passé too? Never mind that now...)
A teddy bear carrying around a sledge hammer (not to mention a bloodied screwdriver) is a bit of a hard sell too - that is, if I understand anything at all about the toy and collectibles family-friendly business...!
Maybe a Great Khali plush atrocity is to be expected next... And don't forget the Little Bastard... I mean, "Hornswoggle" McMahon, of course! (What a nice P.C. name - well, it was up until it got affixed the McMahon family name! Joking! ;)
My toyline (since, for starters, diversification of the merchandising can potentially know no bounds with a good concept; such as mine, that is) and, hence, my concept has an edge to it, still... One that this latest bit of WWE merchandizing cannot match!
In my project, there are true characters WITH character! Characters with a RAISON D'ÊTRE...! Characters meant to make you think, not just laugh from the corner of your mouth.
They are all fun, educational, fully fleshed-out characters in their own right; not mere cutesy-wootsy fluffy derivatives of mere shadows of characterization made out of clichés and lame humor pieced together with all the style and finesse of a butcher wrapping up your sirloin steaks...!
But that is -mercifully- another story, yes...! For another blog...
Rest assured of that!
Labels: TV, Whoooooooo
Saturday, December 06, 2008
Supernatural = Supercrap!
I KNOW YOU ARE
~ BUT WHAT AM I?
Labels: Les démons de Minuit, SUCKS, TV
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